This Summer is not even over yet and I have already been made aware of certain things that I never want to do again but know I will have to.
I do not ever want to visit anyone ever again. It is stressful. It is difficult to keep my children happy and behaved on top of feeling like everyone is watching my parenting moves like a hawk. I always go home feeling stressed and never well rested. It does not even have to be an over night visit as any amount of time longer than an hour is way too much.
I do not ever want to have people over either. That is just as stressful as visiting somebody for all the same reasons. The only difference is that when I visit someone I am trying to prevent my kids from making a mess and when we are at home I am feeling guilty for not having a perfectly clean home.
The whole Summer of traveling, not my original plans, have definitely awakened my senses to my parenting ability and stress level. There is even the bit about learning how not to be taken advantage of too, but that will also come in time as I need more practice at that.
It is not that things a are all bad. It is just life. This is life that is not sugar-coated to hide all of the bad. Things are not always perfect. There are true feelings that go beyond eternally optimistic and happy.
When I was young people at church would always, or so it seemed, tell me to smile Why? Because it was so odd for them to see me without a smile. Whenever I visit these same people say the same thing about my smile. It catches me off guard, but it is not bad to not have a smile on my face all of the time.
Why do we need or expect people to be happy all of the time? Why do we act surprised when someone is not always happy, or having a bad day? What it is we expect or are projecting onto others? I could ask questions all day long and come up with my own reasonings and ideas, but it would only be for my own benefit.
I do not dislike traveling or having people visit, I just got tired and that is what happens to everybody at some point in life, at least once.
I will be sad for the good times of this Summer to be over but I will be glad to get back into a routine that is not as stressful. In the meantime, my hat goes off to all parents who are doing any traveling this Summer as it is rarely easy and stress free.