Yesterday someone made a very kind gestures and offered me some money for my son to enjoy himself at the current town festivities. The person who gave me the money was the mother of the giver. I quickly determined that the actual giver was an acquaintance of mine from my youth. She did not recognize me. I understood the connection though. Not too long ago she lost her daughter this life. Her daughter had special needs as well.
When this woman saw my son she said she felt that her daughter was telling her that she needed to help him have some fun. I made sure that happened. I took pictures and sent a few to his gift-giver. For just a small moment it felt that connections were made. She felt her daughter impressing her to give money for my son to have fun. I felt impressed that my son was having fun for her daughter. Indeed, he had fun.
It was pleasing to witness such kindness and generosity. It was beautiful to be reminded that good people exist. I tend to often put myself down or wonder of my own ability as a mother, especially of a special needs child. I often wonder how much people might be wondering if I am a terrible mother or what they might be thinking about how I ought to do something differently. I do that to myself.
Having a special needs child can be quite challenging, and I recognize it is quite different for many different parents. Some parents struggle to accept the reality, some deeply mourn for the loss of expectations, and some seem to not be bothered one bit. However, many keep going. They cry, laugh, and are just as human as any of us. They fear judgement and fear death, even if they know it would free their children from their earthly body that is so imperfect. It is. It is a life where you get to see miracles and where you experience raw emotions frequently. It is what it is, and for me I carry on and make connection everywhere I go because of him.