what every parent is missing

As with many people I am a part of social media. Yes, I use  it. I use it to communicate more than I do email. I use it to connect with people in groups to support and learn from each other.

After my last marriage I pretty much stopped using it for my own “sharing” of anything personal. It was too dangerous and I needed to keep my life private. That is when I turned to groups. Of course, that is not why I am here writing.

Social media is where I see the most shaming of parents. The pressure to be a perfect parent is great. People posts pictures of every achievement their children have. They post about every vacation, lost tooth, happy moment, and even the bad ones. Then they share. They share, and the advertisers pay for some of it to be seen, the many articles about all the different things that parents are doing wrong.

The articles to shame parents are many. Articles about what things every parent is doing wrong to their child, how every parent is missing something, how not to spank, how to discipline, how to and to not do absolutely everything as a parent. There is just no winning, none.

I suggest: do your best. You cannot do it all perfectly all the time. It is okay to not do everything or not have perfection in your home. It is okay to let your children have a treat and to discipline in an appropriate way (I do not condone violence). It is absolutely okay to not follow every article out there telling you how to and not to parent.

My biggest advice again: just do your best. This does not mean to stop at your best today. Parenting is an every day thing that will require constant change and growth on your part so that you can become better. Your best today may be far better than your best yesterday. If you feel you want to try the parenting advice out there then go for it, it is worth a try, but do not feel guilty just because the article implies that you must be a bad parent if you are doing something that “all parents” are doing.

I often tell people to do their best. Love their children and teach them forgiveness. Then hope that when they are old enough to blame you for everything wrong in their life they will realize you did your best and they will forgive you for not being perfect.



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