getting out from under a baby

If you ask any parent I am sure they oblige you with stories of how difficult it was to get a sleeping baby out of their arms. Tales of standing and rocking the baby to sleep and the child waking up the moment they sit down. What they may not admit is the odd things they would do to try and sit while keeping the baby to sleep. The same goes for any time a small child falls asleep in your arms, no matter if you are sitting or standing.

As much as I love holding my child while she sleeps there are things that I need to do, and things only get worse when one has to use the bathroom.

This brings me to the “how to” get out from under a baby.

  1. Get baby to sleep while in your arms. (in this case you are sitting)
  2. Enjoy the peace and quiet.
  3. Take a nap if possible.
  4. Realize you need to go to the bathroom.
  5. Hold it for as long as possible.
  6. Talk yourself into actually getting up.
  7. Devise a plan to put the baby down.
  8. Readjust the baby in your arms–as slowly as possible.
  9. Move your whole body an inch.
  10. Readjust baby again.
  11. Move your body ever so slightly–whatever part you can.
  12. Get baby back to sleep.
  13. Tilt your body away from the baby while you put your arm holding the baby on the surface you are on or trying to get baby on.
  14. Keep arms in place and move your body away from the baby in a rolling or sliding motion.
  15. Stop. Wait for baby to go back to sleep.
  16. Balance your body in whatever weird position it is in.
  17. Once baby is back to sleep, you think, remove the arm that is not under baby’s head.
  18. Wait for baby to go back to sleep, put hand on baby’s chest if needed.
  19. With the arm under baby’s head press it slightly into the cushion where you want baby’s head. This will create less movement on baby for your arm to move out.
  20. Slowly, very slowly, pull arm out from under baby’s head.
  21. As you see baby start to wake up you run out of the room hoping the baby will go back to sleep.
  22. Tada. You made it out from under the baby, got to go to the bathroom, and the baby is awake, but you did get some stretching and exercising in.
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